I've made a really good friend over the last 6 months here in Canada.
He was part of last years Ignite team, and we both seem to have a lot in common.

Dan, like me is a gamer but also a people person, he loves others, mission and just giving, and has a knack for knowing random things, which people tell me I do to. Also a very good writer, check out his blog....

I had the pleasure of spending a few days in his company at his house, (with some phenomenal hospitality I may add) but have talked over heaps of things, anyways today’s topic was from a conversation on the way home last night with him.

Dan loves Rachel, they're a gorgeous couple, and in about a months time they have their 2 year anniversary... (Congrats guys) But one funny thing about it, and most couples, is how do we define when our relationship starts?

You find relationship where one person says one date and the other something else, sometimes even to the point that it was all hazy and that you just pick something in between. Then Dan (I don't want to take the credit) said that, Girls kind of take it from the first day that they meet, or first date, and guys kind of make it those first days where u hold hands, or are a couple in public

So not really having that much experience in this area, what do you guys think?
What defines where the anniversary should be? Or should u even bother with anniversaries?


PS. Sorry dude got it out first ;)

¶ 10:15 AM  

Danno said...
tsk tsk.

Here I am preparing to make a hum dinger of a post, and you stole it. I shall have to create and expansionary post. LOVED having the times with you man. I definatly thank God for bringing us together!  

KiR said...
For me, I would say, it's either from the DTR or the first kiss. Whichever happens first.

DTR=Define the Relationship.  

The @ said...
hmmm so okay, what "should" come first, the kiss or the DTR?

or is there a should at all?


sorry dude about the early post  

Hadassah said...
from experience...definitly the DTR! Makes things so much easier and clearer for girls who get so easily confused by boys in relationships....  

Claire Bear said...
So first of all, what the heck is a DTR? Secondly, me and my current fella have had trouble with this: we went out ages ago, then broke up for a year & a half, then got back together. Do we go from the original date or the new date? And as for the differences between guys and girls, i know i count from the first sort of meaningful interaction there'd be between us. And i'm a girl  

The @ said...
DTR = Define the Relationship

The Conversation you have with someone, where you work out if you really are going out or not. Like a 'do you have feelings for me?' kinda chat, sometimes happens before or after the first kiss, but aroud the same time.  

CurtASS said...
clairebear you can use the frist date of the old the relationship as long as both people have had no relationships in the middle. If you have had nothing then go for it. And what do you mean by meaningful interation I have had many of them with girls I never dated.  

Claire Bear said...
Having thought about this quite a bit, i think what i mean by a meaningful interaction is the equivelant to DTR. This could also mean changing the relationship i think. It can take place with a conversation or a kiss, or whatever: it's whatever action that holds some sort of personal meaning to an individual, and in the end changes the relationship forever.  

Hadassah said...
Claire..I definitly do agree with your definition of a DTR. As long as some sort of clarification comes along with a kiss..then things are good. And maybe that doesn't apply to all girls..and just me lol but I'm full of emotion and hate the confusion that can come when physical interaction happens, but there's no clarification about what the relationship is.  

CurtASS said...
clairebear i am glad that we are on the same line when it comes to the dtr but you still did not say what you think about the timing of your relationship. I think that it would be better to start again dont count the old relationship because i am guessing that you and your boyfriend dated or at least like someone eles when you were on your break. so start again.  

Hadassah said...
I concur with Curtis...fresh start to a new phase of the relationship..  

Claire Bear said...
We were with other people while we were apart but neither of us dated anyone else officially. We still haven't really decided whether to take the old or the new: i like the idea of the new as it does feel like a new start, and the relationship is ridiculously different from what it was. But I also like the idea of keeping the old coz it's an accurate date for an anniversary....? Still confused! Any ideas?  

crazyforjohnny said...
Clairbear ... I've just scanned the comments and so I may not be grasping the entire concept completely ... but, if you are happy with your current relationship, why are you so concerned about how to calculate the relationship??

Is it really important to know the exact moment you got together, AND, if you did break up for a time, it was for a reason ... so why try to bring that into your current relationship??

I don't think the length of a relationship has any bearing (necessarily) on the strength of that relationship ...

Perhaps knowing the exact moment the relationship begain is not all that important in the long run ...  

Hadassah said...
I agree...as much as I would love having an accurate date for a relationship...I don't think the exact length of time is too important. Pick a random day if you need to to have as your "anniversary day" which really would just be a day to celebrate something extra special.

I got an email from a friend recently who said that she didn't like worrying about a "start" date or even using the term boyfriend. Instead she refers to her other half as her "life bestfriend" and is just content in the fact that she is in the relationship. I thought it was such an incredibly beautiful way to look at it..

So yah..those are my thoughts :)  

Claire Bear said...
Oh do not worry my blogger friends, I am very much content with my relationship and he certainly would not worry too much about the date either (in fact he's told me he doesn't really care), but i am a girl and i like to think about these things :)

I also think that your friend (Hadassah) has hit the nail on the head, that is a great way to look at how a relationship should be. It so doesn't matter about the length of time, and i can safely say that even tho we've been together for a while it doesn't feel very long at all, which to me is very exciting.

I'm pumped that my comments got so much response!!  

Bethany said...
Well hello everyone, and clicks for Claire on the great comments. My boyfriend and I go by the date that we kissed, the date where we first actually told each other just what is was that we were feeling, rather than beating around the bush... But as with Claire and her 'said crew' (whose relationship is frighteninlgy similar to that of mine and my 'said crew') we really don't care that much... we might have to write a date on a form or something a few days after the 'anniversary' and just go, 'Oh, that's nice'... but other than that, why must there be a "beginning". To be honest, the whole aniversay thing is merely a measruing stick for other people, coz everyone always asked 'How long have you been together for'... whereas for the two people IN the relationship, it really doesn't/shouldn't matter. I rest my case.  

The @ said...
i have to admit, i agree with Bef's case. It's nice and black, a nice black shiny case.

but though, 'said crew' interesting name for ur boy

:P  

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